Appreciation – It Costs Us Nothing and is Essential to Life

dale carnegie


Did you know that a true, sincere complement could mean the difference to another person’s day?


Scientific studies have found that 50% of cases of patients with mental illnesses (that are not related to disease) show no physical reason for their condition.


For a long time scientists didn’t know why it happened. Dale Carnegie, a well known author on human relations, discussed a theory that these patients who developed mental problems did so to gain a feeling of importance.


He even quoted a specific case in his famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.


In his example he interviewed a doctor about a women who had been diagnosed as “insane”. This is an exact quote from the book:


I have a patient right now whose marriage proved to be a tragedy. She wanted love, sexual gratification, children and social prestige, but life blasted all her hopes. Her husband didn’t love her. He refused even to eat with her and forced her to server his meals in his room upstairs. She had no children, no social standing. She went insane; and, in her imagination, she divorced her husband and resumed her maiden name. She now believes she has married into English aristocracy, and she insists on being called Lady Smith.

And as for children, she imagines now that she has had a new child every night. Each time I call on her she says: ‘Doctor, I had a baby last night.’


Grant A Feeling of Importance – It Might Just Change Someone’s Life”


Who knows what might have happened to this women had someone taken the time to appreciate her and tell her that certain things she did mattered?


Be the change today.


The next time you notice someone do a good job, don’t just let it go unnoticed. Acknowledge their work. After all, everyone loves being appreciated!


Thanks for reading. Please like/share and follow my blog if you’ve found this valuable :)

4 thoughts on “Appreciation – It Costs Us Nothing and is Essential to Life

  1. marklecter66

    This article is the most valuable, because i feel it.:)
    I am in the same (sort of) boat with Lady Smith, with no paddles, the difference is that i said fuck the paddles, i’m rowing my way out with my bare hands.
    I have next to me just a presence, there is no one left i can talk and i’m screaming inside, there is no one left to really be there for me. I was constantly blocked to do all the things i enjoy, cut from friends, cut from everything. If you pay really good attention to someone and see how he/she responds on different inputs you can manipulate very easy. And it was easy. :)
    Many people get in Lady Smith shoes, or in mine, we are not as wise as we should be at some points in life and we make mistakes, some really big ones.
    And suffering comes into play, some people can endure their suffering, some can’t, some can see third parties suffer, some can’t, some can change their life 180 deg. some can’t.
    If one person have someone to be there, their lucky, others (like me) should get something to get their hands on and really hold tight.
    This is not the way you should go, unless it’s enaugh for you, like dive into work or a hobby, being creative or do whatever you want to do to feel great and at peace.
    This is just a pit stop and as soon as you feel good, you’re back in the race.
    I get silence and “i’m not saying anything no matter what, he will be back like always” treatment when i try to talk things out.
    The thing is i have no feeling like i want to go back in the race.
    So, now, i’m starting to change. What have changed me?!
    A stranger apperead, and only with the presence, gave me the boost to really do something i enjoy and i always enjoyed and i was blocked the last years from doing it… create stories… and i wrote a story and i let it all out. The most important goal was to finish the story.
    My advices:
    – follow blogs like Andrew has here, and all those for self development etc.
    – don’t stay in your corner, get out and talk to people, they won’t bite
    – don’t over think, enaugh, go and do something, finish something and show it to others
    – get around positive people and fuck those who are telling you can’t do something
    – the real problem is you, start with small steps and change what hurts you, the path is very hard but reward is fantastic.
    – think positive, nothing is lost, in any circumstances, you are human, full of love and you deserve all the best in the world, go out and grab it.

    I hope Lady Smith is at peace in her world now.

    1. Andrew Hines Post author

      Wow, Mark. Powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate you and your passion!

      Take control of your life and don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Hold your vision and know it inside and out, and you can do anything!

      One quick clarification: When I was talking about appreciation I wasn’t intending to imply manipulation… I’m talking about genuine appreciation of others.

      As human beings we can smell insincerity a million miles away… But it’s in our nature to see the good in others and enjoy their efforts. Look for beautiful moments that others bring about and celebrate them! Thank you for reading and commenting!

  2. marklecter66

    Another quick clarification: the manipulation part in my comment had nothing to do with your article.

    About appreciation in your article, you have to be around people, the most part of trubled people are lonely and that’s driving them to insanity. The best thing if you’re in this boat is to do something, create something. It is really hard because you have to work and it’s much harder like the situation when someone else is giving you a boost in life, in fact it’s doing lots of work for you. We are lazy, beware, it’s one of the capital sins. :)

    Keep up the good work, i like it because it’s simple and with great effect. :)

  3. Christina MacQuarrie

    Profound and deeply moving anecdote on Lady Smith. As Criss Angel commented, “We are who we believe ourselves to be.” I believe her dreams of giving birth to a new baby every night were the profound premonition of her destiny to unlock the secrets of the hidden psyche.

    My mother recently passed away at the age of fifty one. And due to differences we had in character and the amount of disrespect we abused each other with in every gathering and conversation inspired this post (From my current book project, Everything Under The Moon Your Silver Lining: Delicious Recipes, Friendship, Humour, Love and Healing, in the mind of the protagonist)

    Does this post generate the idea of appreciation in what human beings need, at all?

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